the space between

Suddenly the heart starts to beat faster, And the pulse is racing on My mind is non existent Instincts take over And take me back to where I came from I thought I knew it all I knew I was really strong Time heals everything Distance creates space Then why is it so hard to move on? Mind controls feelings Feelings control a man Man builds connections and at will breaks the bond while the mind has set free, to what is the soul holding on? is this a strange connect ? is this a mystery ? will it forever hold on to me or would it ever set me free ? I don’t why it started, I don’t know when it will end How hard will we try to break this connection that was heaven sent ?

                                             AS I LAY DYING As I lay dying      Looking for those last words to speak , And that special hand to hold As I lay dying Is there a spectacle to behold of all that I ignored As I lay dying  hearing the last words Of their  wisdom,  is there still something I could know? As I lay dying Breathing hard to breathe again Believing I still can make a difference As I lay dying Trying hard to walk again Forgiving life that gave me so much pain As I lay dying Still, motionless, with my eyes closed In anguish , I plead with my soul As I lay dying Thoughts flash across my brain, My entire life just passed through in a matter of few seconds Some people entered, so many people left The story, whose chapters I just read But those moments were so much longer The feelings so much intense Was it just an exaggerated melodrama  I just lived in a few seconds ? As I lay dying contemplating How far did

that empty feeling in the stomach when you dont know what you should or shouldnt do ? there is so much you want to say, but who to say to everything you thought you knew of what is false and what is true i thought it was a part of me, but i know its you i fell into all that went before was forgotten in an instant or so i thought as i still carry the pain i want to rip out my eyes and hide under the table i am still vulnerable never ending thoughts of the why and the why nots did she just touch me or she wanted to hold on is she really there or has she moved on do i have to say the words of what is true i thought it wasnt just me , but it was also you we fell into what i used to be , i am not the same i ran, i ran, but i still carry the pain i want to run away far from all the people is this me? i am still vulnerable memories of what is and what could have been she didnt even say , she didnt even tell me ? it was just another kiss, or did she really feel me ? i

standing still right on the edge one step further or a retreat is the thin line between life and death the colossal mountains, with numerous streams merging into the rampant river flowing in between as different experiences form a story, and these countless stories  become a dream a dream lived and a dream unheard of what is perceived and what is seen is the thin line between real and believed the rising sun, brightens the horizon as dark clouds envelope the vision what has happened and what is revealed every conclusion takes two different means i accomplished or i didnt take the test the thin line between failure and success walking along a long winding road top of the hill , on the snow an ignorant move and there i see you go i reach out with my hand to bring you back once more how you held her and how she holds you now is the thin line between love and sex the magnificent meadows, the splendid terrain the snow covered mountains, the beautiful rain you ho

blue skies cover the horizon as divine sunlight touches the wind the languid sound of water running as a green blanket envelopes the hill i stare at every phenomenon wondering am i a part of this or this a part of me? yet, fascinated by this spectacle of creation by the creator who also created me snow glistens on top of that mountain with the sun shining on top of me birds singing to their different tunes now in one place then another tree i gaze at every splendor wondering i am as much a part of this as this is of me what power can imagine such vividity the thought of the creator who created this and created me every thing seems so much in place every picture seems so perfect every creation serves its purpose as every thought assumes a reason while i am thinking through these thoughts of wisdom how was I thought and so was this all along i was sitting still..

do they all go through what i am going through everyday do they all see , all these different shades all beneath one single tree is this all for real cos it seems like a movie Again it makes me smile when it should make me cry i ask god.. why me why ?? all that happens need not have an explanation stranger things have happened, stranger people have arrived i am a simple man, i have a simple mind not once, not twice, it happens every time i try god !!! why me why ?? what do you want to prove?, where do you want to take me ? i have never interfered , forget intervene.. its alone i have lived, i have wanted to be free no more i can feel.. why am i still alive?? when will i die ?? God !! why me why ??

today, as it stands infront of me what is it my eyes really want to see? what do my ears really want to hear ? what is it my heart really wants to feel? to all these questions i have no answer what is that one wish i really want to conquer? yesterday, as it went past in a blink of an eye what was it that i really wanted to achieve ? what was wrong that i wanted to make right ? what did i become ? what i wanted to be ? to all that was brought and all the other what is that one wish i really want to conquer? standing still, too scared to scroll down the pages of tomorrow as they will unfold infront of me one step of courage or a step full of conviction what do i fear? and what truth convinces me ? as much as i try to get near me , i go farther what is that one need i fulfill? lord!! my father !!! moments swish by like flashes of lightning while i am left wondering where do i fit in ? hope floats on the surface of the ocean i strive hard to reach it and it sinks